If I Could Kiss Yu
by Nova Mode
Summary: Oh sweet babies. I would like that man to bear them.
1. If I Could Kiss Yuu

Wow, my first story ever! I'm so excited :D

Anyways, this was written for the DGM Kink Meme; Lavi/Kanda + shower sex. I, er, didn't really write the sex only a make- out scene but I still liked the way it turned out. I hope you guys enjoy it as well!

Disclaimer: I, do not own D. Gray Man or any of the characters pertaining to D. Gray Man. They belong to Katsura Hoshino.

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><p>"What's the point of this?" grumbled a low voice.<p>

"Whaddya mean?" Lavi couldn't help but chuckle as he glanced back at Kanda who stood under a spray of hot water looking anything but pleased.

_"This."_ The other stressed while motioning between the two of them and to the shower that they both currently occupied in.

Lavi laughed, light and frivolous, not taking Kanda seriously. He peeked back at the brunette under the shower head, rinsing soap off his hair. _Can't believe his hair stays so soft and shiny when all he uses is soap. Hmmm... must be a real good brand then._

Lavi finished scrubbing soap onto his arms and chest before motioning Kanda out of the way so they could switch places. "Does everythin' have t'have a point? Besides, weren't, ya the one who said it was okay for me t'join ya?" A secretive little smile tugged at Lavi's lip while his back was turned to Kanda.

"Yeah, it was okay the first time because this bullshit of an Order kept having troubles with the plumbing," Kanda answered thoroughly irritated, "but this is the third time already! There are other stalls that you can use now, so why choose the one I'm using?" He ended up mumbling the last part.

Lavi shrugged, seemingly unaffected by the whole ordeal. "Dunno, thought it'd be more practical this way. Not waste water and whatever, y'know?" He did have a point, it was the very same reason why Kanda let Lavi shower with him that first time.

They switched places again; Lavi to lather his hair and Kanda to rinse off his torso, unknowingly giving Lavi a very nice view of his backside and silky fall of lovely black hair.

"Che, you're driving me crazy, you know that?" Kanda sent a glare at Lavi's direction when he noticed that Lavi was staring at him with an annoying idiotic smile plastered on his equally idiotic face.

"I think Yu-chan is having some other issues that he doesn't wish to talk about." Lavi spoke with a patronizing tone, knowing full well that it would only irritate the other further.

"Don't call me that!" Kanda growled.

"Is Yu-chan scared to shower around other people?"

"Tch, I didn't say-"

"Is Yu-chan not used to showering around other people?"

"Will you shut-"

"Is Yu-chan uncomfortable with showering around other pe-"

"Shut the fuck up right now before I knee you in the crotch making _you_ the one whose feeling uncomfortable, baka usagi." Kanda threatened.

Lavi grimaced at the thought before switching back to annoying mode,"Harsh Yu, I was only joking with ya. But really, what's your problem anyways? It's just like when we go to the bath house but only this time we're in the shower."

But both seemed to have forgotten about their shower. Instead they just stood there, staring at each other. Kanda looked his normal uptight, irritated self but with what seemed to Lavi, a hint of embarrassment. Lavi on the other hand, held his usual teasing disposition but with an obvious curiosity mixed in as well.

After minute or so of silence and staring, Kanda huffed and fixed his gaze to the left side of the shower stall before muttering, "The bath house is for public use, showers are private."

"Nah, I don't think that's it or else I wouldn't have showered with Yu that second time." Lavi answered thoughtfully. "C'monnn, you can tell me. What's really buggin' ya?" He took a small step forward focusing a solitary green eye at the brunette before him.

Kanda sighed but kept his eyes focused to the wall as he crossed his arms, "It's cause..." he started, "Ever since that first time you kept giving me these weird looks."

Wow, Lavi didn't expect to hear that, "Uh, define weird?" He really had nothing else to say.

"I don't know! Weird! The creepy kind..."

"What? Are ya tryin' to say that I'm a creeper?"

Kanda snapped his gaze back to Lavi, he pursed his lips and had on one of his many 'what the hell' faces. It wasn't what he initially thought, but then again...

Lavi knew all about and memorized Kanda's many but limited facial expressions. So he could exactly tell what Kanda was feeling and couldn't help but feel a little bit offended, "Heyyy! I didn't really mean that! I'm not a creeper!" He pouted, slightly in disbelief that Kanda would think that, but then again...

"So? Doesn't change the fact you keep giving me weird looks." Kanda answered completely indignant, "_Why_ do you keep giving me weird looks?" he snarled, hands on his hips demanding an answer.

_Ahhh crap, I've been caught, what am I gonna do now?_ Lavi internally cried before letting his mouth answer on it's own, "Like hell if I know Yu, maybe you're just imagining things." Lavi really hoped Kanda would accept that as a suitable response. Which of course he didn't; Lavi could tell by Kanda's number twelve 'you're a dumb ass' look.

Lavi sheepishly scratched the back of his head, _ah to hell with it, might at least try to make it worth my while.. _He settled his gaze back on Kanda's face taking in all the features of the swordsman in front of him; the long wet inky hair that stuck to him as if it were painted on him, the soft red flush that spread across his chest and cheeks from the heat and steam of the showers, the furrowed brows leading to dark intense eyes. It was too much!

Kanda began to feel wary when he noticed Lavi giving him the "creeper" look (as Kanda dubbed it) again. And it seem to have intensified now, but maybe it might of had something to do with the fact that they were in the shower... and that they were naked...

Too bad Kanda didn't consider or rather didn't notice any of those factors. To him a stupid rabbit was a stupid rabbit who did stupid rabbit things for no apparent reason. Even though pretty much everything that Lavi did and does had a reason as to why he was doing it in the first place. Kanda will just have to learn the hard way.

Lavi sent him a sly smile before speaking, smoothly and slowly, "Well Yu-chan, maybe you're right, I don't what's gotten into to me but lately there's something that's been on my mind and it's becoming a problem. A rather persistent problem might I add..." He trailed off a bit, looking off to the side and took a rabbit step closer to Kanda before continuing, "But y'know maybe you can help me figure this problem out since it's becoming a problem for you too."

Kanda would've believe those words if it not for the way Lavi had said them. It was so weird, just like those looks... But before he could give it a second thought he saw that the distance between him and Lavi had suddenly become incredibly slim. It got worse when he realized that he was already backed up against the wall with no real escape. Then there was the shower head directly above them spraying vast amounts of hot water which wasn't helping the flush from rising to his face to lessen whatsoever. And dammit all, Lavi just kept creeping closer!

Once Lavi had Kanda cornered, he settled his palms on the each side of Kanda's head, leaned his head real close that their noses were almost touching. He was thankful to see Kanda rooted in his spot, seemingly paralyzed and unable to move. A lascivious smirk graced the redhead's face as he purred, "Maybe it would help me... if I could kiss... Yu."

... Lavi wasn't really surprised by Kanda's reaction or rather lack thereof. Well, maybe a little. He expected Kanda to react more violently than this. Instead Kanda's eyes seemed to have widen three times their size, his mouth was agape and his jaw refused to shut, and there was his right eyebrow that refused to stop twitching. _Oh man, I think I broke Yu-chan_, Lavi panicked.

Because Kanda was shocked, very shocked. Really, what the hell? How could he have missed something like _that_ and since when did Lavi... since when did Lavi...

"W-what the fuck! What do you mean by that! I thought you liked girls! You're the biggest skirt chaser I know!" _aside from Cross, but he's actually successful in his attempts... _Either way, Kanda couldn't help but feel a little freaked out as much as he hated to admit it. But c'mon! He didn't expect that from Lavi, _ever_ and now he's stuck in the shower with him... trapped. Oh, no.

He was thankful that Lavi noticed because he backed off a little yet still too close in Kanda's opinion. He was going to nudge Lavi back some more when he heard Lavi's light laughter and saw a lopsided smile on the redhead.

Lavi couldn't help but laugh at Kanda's face. Really, the swordsman was too cute sometimes, if only he knew that. He slightly shrugged his shoulders in a dismissive manner and answered, "Don't get me wrong, I do!"

Now for the hard part. How should he explain this to someone like Kanda. Lavi decided to go for the obvious, "But I mean... Hellooo!" when he said that he gestured both his hands towards his... to put it simply, his penis.

Kanda regretted following Lavi's hands. Dammit he didn't need to see that! The situation was becoming all the more unbearable because of what Lavi pointed out. "W-what the hell," Kanda muttered, completely avoiding Lavi's gaze, though it was probably to hide the embarrassed blush that couldn't be caused from the heat of the water.

"Yuuu..." Lavi whined softly. Sure, he wasn't expecting for Kanda to throw himself at Lavi, smash their lips together and continue on to have passionate shower sex (though, that would've been grand spectacular and he would've settled for that). Hell, he would rather have Kanda call him an idiot rabbit and shove him out of the way and then just leave. It would've made it easier to forget about him.

But this... this was much worst. The disgusted look was clearly written all over Kanda's face, it made him feel like he violated the guy (in a way he kind of did). _Man this was a really bad idea... damn hormones. Now Yu's never gonna wanna talk to me ever again, and it's all because I __can't stop __think__ing__ with my dick._

What he didn't know was when he started having these "weird" feelings for Kanda. It went from wanting to throw his arm around Yu's neck to wanting to grab Yu's ass. And Kanda didn't help; oh with his flowing hair, his pretty face, and the countless time Lavi's seen him shirtless... the never ending fan service! First he goes parading his beautiful self in his tight training clothing (that's just calling for attention, have you seen the ass on Kanda?) and now Kanda was parading in his dreams and this time he's naked! What does Kanda expect him to do?

This was getting way out of hand, he tried to keep it under control and not let it lead it to where Lavi would do something stupid. Lavi obviously failed; ever since he took that shower with Kanda the day the Order's plumbing system failed. Kanda said it was okay to come and join him if he didn't care about technicalities of them both being nude, so that way they could preserve what little hot water they had to use.

That there, was the biggest mistake Lavi had made. He didn't realize the kind of effect it was going to have on him. The entire time was spent with Lavi admiring the aspects of Kanda's body; the sharp lines and smooth contours of his pecs and abs, the tight muscular butt, and of course Yu-chan's lovely, lovely hair. _Total, utter failure_.

His downward spiral of thoughts were put to a halt when Kanda's voice spoke up, "I don't understand, you said you like girls but you're..." he paused for a second and sighed, "what's wrong with you anyways? Like ... what the hell man..." He ran a hand through his hair, trying to find something else to focus his eyes on instead of the redhead before him, he was clearly frustrated.

Lavi wanted to laugh again, but figured it wouldn't help with his situation, especially since he noticed how embarrassed and flustered Kanda looked. At that though, he smiled, Kanda was so ignorant, it was cute.

He placed his right hand next to Kanda's head, shifting most of his weight onto the hand. It made Kanda whip his uneasy gaze back onto Lavi. Now that Lavi got his attention he teased, "Well, it's not like you've pushed me away yet."

Of course that just pissed Kanda off, so he tried to push at the redhead's chest but Lavi made quick work to grab hold of the other's hand and hold them within his own. Lavi flashed him a stupid grin that grew wider when Kanda whipped his hands out of his grasp. Kanda rubbed his hands together and glared at Lavi, "Che, fucking creeper." He snarled.

Lavi scowled, he really didn't like being called a creeper. Yeah, he may be a flirt and perverted too but a creeper? No way, that was just insulting, but Kanda didn't get it, he didn't understand. Lavi would just have to explain it to him.

Lavi started, "Don't be dense Yu." that earned him a fiercer glare. "Do you not notice how gorgeous you are?" and that earned him a blush (cute!).

Lavi laughed rather hollowly, throwing a glare of his own at Kanda, "Do you know what is like to have to find a way to jack off at a time where the old Panda isn't constantly on your ass?" Kanda gaped at him, eyes incredulous but that didn't stop Lavi as he placed both hands on either side of the brunette's head again before muttering, "You're off Yu... you're way off."

Kanda glared and glared and glared, before growling, "che, lay off baka usagi."

A devious smirk formed on Lavi's face, "not until I get that kiss. How am I going to solve my problem if I don't."

"Easy, solve it yourself and leave me out of it."

"Nope, kiss me if you don't want anyone else to find out our shower encounters, hm? Y'know when I tell stories I tend to exaggerate. A lot."

Kanda raised his eyebrows upon hearing this, "You've got to be kidding me, you're an asshole. I should just beat the shit out of you."

Lavi shrugged dismissively again, "And you're a bastard. I don't want to have to do some like that since we are such _close_ friends." He emphasized the 'close' by leaning even closer to the shorter male, "But if I have to, I guess I will."

Kanda had his forty-third 'I hope you die' glare going on, as he started to fidget around again.

Lavi sighed, this wasn't working, time for a different approach. He reached out a hand to lift Kanda's chin up so that they were eye-to-eye.

Kanda grasped at Lavi's wrist to pry others hand off but didn't do anything. Just kept his hand around the others wrist once he saw the soft despondent look on Lavi's face.

They held each others gaze before Lavi murmured lowly, "Look Yu, just kiss me this one time and I'll leave you alone and I'll stop calling you 'Yu' or 'Yu-chan' for the next two weeks and I promise not to let anyone know about this ever, Bookman's honor." Lavi's face looked so pathetic and hopeless that for some strange reason Kanda was going to relent.

Kanda shifted his gaze around a couple of times, "but what if someo-"

"Yu" Lavi cut him off, "We're the only two idiots who would come and take a shower at the farthest showroom in the Order way past midnight. I'm sure no one will show up."

Kanda sighed proud but defeated, "Fine, but after this we're just going to be fri-, comrades again, alright?"

A big smile bloomed on Lavi's face, "Of course" he said.

"And if you don't hold your end of the deal, I'll get to kick you ass whenever I want for the next two weeks got it?"

The smile withered a little but held its ground, "You betcha."

Both boys stood under the spray of water, none of them moving a muscle. Lavi was too busy taking in the beauty that he had dreamed of kissing for many nights now, happy to know it was becoming reality while Kanda just felt awkward and anxious since he had no clue how they were going to do this.

After a few more restless, antsy moments Kanda snapped, "Well! Go on!"

Lavi shook out of his reverie and looked at Kanda realizing he spaced out. He chuckled and scratched his nose before saying a quick "sorry". Then he leaned in til their lips touched.

Lavi didn't want to freak Kanda out too soon, so he decided to take it slow to let him get used to it. He pressed his lips a little harder against Kanda's, the hand around Kanda's chin slid up and weaved itself into the silky dark locks while the other settled right along Kanda's hipbone. Kanda's hand that was grasping Lavi's wrist went to grab hold of the redhead's shoulder, he left his other hand to hold firmly on Lavi's bicep.

Lavi kissed the corners of Kanda's mouth gently, taking the brunette's bottom lip in between his. Kanda seemed to know what to do from there as he opened his lips to invite the redhead's tongue in. Lavi eagerly delved in tasting every inch of Kanda's wet cavern as their tongues pushed and slid against each other langiudly. The hand in Kanda's hair gently tugged back to tilt the others head back in order to get better access and he could feel the other shudder at the action and it made Lavi groan.

Kanda was pushed further against the wall as Lavi pressed both of their chest together, but he didn't mind at all at the moment. Their kiss began to pick up speed, their tongues were pushing and grinding hotly against each other, the sudden change excited him and wasn't able to suppress a moan from surfacing.

That sound, the moment Lavi heard it, he knew he wanted to hear more. Even though some part of him hoped that he'd be disappointed so that he could let this all go afterwards. But he wasn't so sure anymore. This might've not been as explicit as his dreams but having the real thing in any form tops any dream he's had of Kanda.

The hand on Kanda's was rubbing circles around the alluring hipbones, but now it began to slid up, feeling along taut muscles of the other's stomach until it reached it's desired location: Kanda's right nipple. The bud stood in all it's perky glory as he pinched and squeezed it before rubbing his thumb back and forth. This caused another moan to erupt from Kanda that sent chills down Lavi's spine and blood straight to his groin. The hand from there slid to his back and he pressed the swordsman to him.

They would break for air every few series of exchanges before reuniting once more with more passion than before. He ran his fingers through the dark hair feeling the strands spill from his fingers like ink, God, that hair a weakness for Lavi, he didn't even know why. But he will take advantage of this wondrous moment for as long as he can.

Kanda was admittedly surprised at himself for letting this go on for so long and he didn't really found a need to stop either. He wrapped both arms around Lavi, settled his hands at the top of his back and then dragged his nails all the way down Lavi's back, causing him to release a shuddering breath

This was too much for Lavi; the feel of Kanda against him, the reciprocation, the heat, it was too much... he couldn't let this stop... he couldn't...

"Ahh-ah- ha, fuck!"

He was suddenly pushed away by a very flustered, Kanda. He stumbled back a few steps before grabbing for the wall to the right of him.

Dammit he just screwed up everything! Shit, Kanda's gonna beat his ass- He snapped his gaze back up at Kanda where he could of sworn he heard the man snicker.

Indeed Kanda was, he rested against the wall where the knobs for the water were at and he just kept laughing at Lavi, but the disgust was very apparent as he looked down at the sudden 'mess' on his thigh.

"Aha, the fuck man. That's gross. I think I'm going leave you alone to finish your, uh, self. Have fun."

But before leaving, he rinsed himself one more time then turned to turn some of the knobs letting out the cold water.

"I think this will be helpful." was the last thing Kanda said before laughing again and stepping out of the shower.

Lavi smacked his head against the wall and let out of frustrated cry before fully standing under the spray of water to finish his cold shower.

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><p>Thank you for reading! Reviews, comments, questions are all appreciated :)<p>

Take care~


	2. If I Could Fuck Yuu

"Fuck."

It was late and Kanda felt restless. Again. He tossed around in his bed for the fifteenth time and this being the third night in the row that this happened was starting to piss Kanda off. Mainly because it disrupted his sleep therefore disrupted his routine the next day by keeping him more on edge than he would have liked.

And baka usagi was the reason to blame for his current troubles.

He knew that it definitely had everything to do what happened between them last week. He sighed, if they never had kissed in the showers then maybe he wouldn't be having this problem.

The problem being that he couldn't stop thinking about it! The thoughts were practically molesting him!

The way Lavi's hands gripped on his hips, the way fingers massaged through his hair. Chests rising and riding against each other from heated pants. How that mouth, that tongue pushed and tugged on his own, lips sliding against each other. Everything was just so wet and hot...

"Tch." With an aggravated growl Kanda tossed his bed sheets aside. Sitting along the edge he ran a hand through his bangs, then it slid down his cheeks and rested his fingers lightly on his lips.

He shook his head. What the fuck was wrong with him?

**(〜￣▽￣****)〜**

**If I Could Fuck Yu**

**〜****(￣△￣〜****)**

Kanda strode the halls without purpose the next morning. Merely walking for the sake of walking. Other Order members that passed by him could only wonder if the usual angry Exorcist was feeling ill because not a hint of irritation was seen on his face as he continued to walk languidly through the halls.

Sooner than later, he reached the mess hall without even realizing it, but seeing that he was already here he figured that now would be a good time to get his customary breakfast soba.

After receiving the meal and a gush and coo from Jerry he proceeded to make his way to a table but when he turned his eyes couldn't help but land on the one person that had been harassing his mind for the past week.

_Lavi_.

The redhead male with the one green eye sat with the girl in the short skirt and the white haired beansprout. They appeared to be having a comfortable meal, light laughter and easygoing smiles were shared between the three. All of that dropped immediately from Lavi's face when his eye locked onto the swordsman only some feet away.

Kanda's feet unknowingly brought him closer to the table as he kept all of his focus on the blush that appeared on the other's face with each step that he took. Except Lavi broke their staredown when he abruptly stood up and began to make his leave with Allen and Lenalee casting him confused looks.

Lavi kept his head down as he quickly brushed past Kanda but he managed to say a brisk "hi" before disappearing through the mess hall's doors.

Kanda tried not to let a scowl form while he went to sit at the same spot that Lavi had abandoned. Again, Allen and Lenalee had confused looks but Lenalee shook it off to instead smile at Kanda, greeting a chipper, "good morning."

Kanda nodded in return as a greeting but when Allen said, "morning" with his mouth stuffed with food, led Kanda to glare at him and promptly ignore the sprout for the rest of his meal.

Allen and Lenalee shared wary glances as the atmosphere of the table began to feel awkward. Lenalee looked back at Kanda silently eating his food, noting his rather odd behavior. After all, it was very uncommon that Kanda would willingly join to sit at any table with other people, preferring to keep his solitude.

Then there was Lavi who she noticed had been acting strange as well. Never was he the type to just drop a conversation randomly like he just did and take off. Also, if he noticed Kanda coming their way then he surely would be the first person to welcome their stoic friend.

It was strange indeed, and she was definitely missing something.

While Lenalee contemplated her friends' unusual behavior, she failed to realize she was muttering to herself. Allen, who picked up stick of his favorite Dango took one glance at Lenalee before he quickly snapped at Kanda casting him a worried look and whispered, "Bakanda, she's talking to herself." Kanda saw this but shrugged, completely indifferent compared to the beansprout.

Kanda had to roll his eyes when the younger boy kept glancing back at Lenalee nervously, whereas the girl did not see that they were talking about her, being too lost in her own thoughts. Kanda sighed before he said, "she does this often. Ignore her." Then he glared, which Allen didn't know was the 'I wish nothing but pain for you' number four glare and threatened, "and don't call me Bakanda, Baka-moyashi."

Allen pouted before stuffing his face with his Dango.

Inside Lenalee's sharp mind she kept going over possibilities that would cause Lavi and Kanda to act so strange. Well Kanda always avoided people, now he was sitting here with them and chatting with Allen (she confused chatting with arguing). Lavi on the other hand enjoyed having people around yet now he was was the one avoiding others.

No that wasn't it, if she thought clearly about the situation then it would seem that Lavi was constantly lost in his thoughts and unfocused almost all the time. And he became a lot more quiet, especially if Kanda was ever around...

_Wait!_ Lenalee's eyes brightened with realization. There was something wrong! As she thought about it over, she noticed that for over the past week, both Lavi and Kanda were not seen together in the same area at almost any given time. Sure, to most people that might seem normal because Kanda avoided any sort of social interaction with anyone but not Lavi. Actually Lavi would usually spend most of his day trying to search for the temperamental exorcist to bother or tease him in any way he can.

Now, it seemed like Lavi was trying to avoid Kanda. No, Lavi was avoiding Kanda, but why? Were they fighting or something? She had to ask Kanda about this, Lenalee decided.

Allen having enough of the pretty boy's attitude decided to check back into Lenalee and see if she was done with talking to herself. Thankfully she was, appearing to have finally come to a consensus.

Lenalee looked up and saw the two boys staring strangely at her. She smiled sheepishly back but quickly got over it, turning to her disgruntled friend to say, "Kanda, I'm sorry to ask but are you and Lavi fighting or something? Is he mad at you because I think he has been avoiding you."

Allen set down his Mitarashi Dango and turned to look at both Kanda and Lenalee quizzically. Things suddenly became more interesting than his dumplings. Kanda on the other hand propped his face up with his knuckles, expression dull and bored as he muttered, "So you noticed huh?"

Lenalee eyes widen at that response. She really didn't expect him to be so open about it, it left her dumbfounded.

"Yeah... I did. So is there something wrong?"

"Che, I don't know what his deal is," Kanda crossed his arms and glared at his bowl of noodles, "whatever. It's not my problem anyways."

"But-" she began to whine out.

"But-" Kanda interrupted by mocking her whine before responding, "don't worry about it."

She huffed. "Are you sure?" She challenged back and mimicked the way he crossed his arms, glaring straight at him, a glare that said, 'you can't tell me what to do'. "I'm just worried, maybe you or I could talk to him..."

"I'll talk to him." Kanda snapped, not wanting to back down from her supposed challenge. Although it seemed that she picked up a thing or two from him. But he was able to ignore the fact that Lenalee was glaring at him and let it slide. She was always lucky like that and Kanda knew it too, especially when he saw her smiling at him.

On the outside Lenalee smiled, trying to agree to his decision. On the inside though she still felt unsure, it most likely would turn out bad. But maybe it really wasn't in her place to be butting into her friends problems. Maybe it something they had and could deal with themselves.

That was what she was hoping for at least.

Kanda didn't bother reassuring the worried Lenalee as he stood up, throwing his barely touched breakfast away before stalking back out to the halls of the Order.

He had a certain rabbit to find.

**〜****(￣▽￣〜****)**

**If I Could Fuck Yu**

**(〜￣△￣****)〜**

"Fuck."

Lavi was so annoyed with himself. How pathetic was it for him to walk out like that? He sighed heavily, he couldn't help it though, their make-out session in the showers a week ago really screwed up with his head. And his emotions, they ran wild whenever he caught glimpse of Kanda.

A shudder went down his spine as he thought about how those dark eyes pierced into his own back at the cafeteria. And other certain thoughts that began to swarm his mind.

No! He shouldn't be thinking about those things! It made it harder for him to focus on anything else when those distracting thoughts were mind-fucking him.

Speaking of fucking...

Argh, what did Yuu do that suddenly made him so... so... sexy!?

He could easily admit that Yuu always had sex appeal, it wasn't hard to admit that he was good looking. But to think that he was sexy, someone that caused arousing desire? He was a guy and the last time Lavi checked he wasn't into men. And that still hasn't changed.

Oh but how he enjoyed that kiss immensely. He knew if Kanda were to ever come onto him, he would give in to that temptation without a second thought.

To Feel that smooth porcelain skin, run his hands up the creamy thighs. Let his fingers tangle themselves up in black silky hair. Ravish that body until it was left flushed and panting. Drive the other to the edge until no words could be spoken only heated moans.

Lavi's cheeks burned up again and he sighed exasperatedly. What was wrong with him?

**〜****(￣▽￣〜****)**

**If I Could Fuck Yu**

**(〜￣△￣****)〜**

_Check the Library? He's not there. Check his room? Not there either. Hallways? No. Stairwells? No. Bathrooms? No. Rooftop? No. Cafeteria? NO...Again!_

By then, it had been three hours.

Three fucking hours for Kanda to realize that he was wasting his time in searching for the idiot rabbit known as Lavi.

And for the mighty blade of Mugen what the hell was he doing! Was he actually trying to chase the baka down? That should be the last thing on his list of priorities.

The surrounding walls of the hallways seemed very tempting for Kanda to just bash his head against them for his overall stupidity. This was making him frustrated and pissed off the more he thought about the idiot redhead. It wasn't very wise of Kanda to let his anger cloud his judgment but at the moment he didn't care…

Agh! What was the Lavi's problem anyway? Think Kanda think….

Nothing.

Dammit try harder!

_"…I'll leave you alone and I'll stop calling you 'Yuu' or 'Yuu-chan'..."_

Oh. Well damn. He had forgotten about that. No wonder he was being avoided. The baka was actually keeping his promise for once.

Che. And at the one time he didn't need him to. How annoying.

Kanda growled and stalked away. It was better to just forget the whole thing and take out his anger through training.

And to definitely forget that embarrassed blush spreading across his cheeks.  
><em>Dammit<em>.

**〜****(￣▽￣〜****)**

**If I Could Fuck Yu**

**(〜￣△￣****)〜**

Lavi was spread eagle, watching pretty blue birds fly across the little clearing within the forest that he was in. He closed his eye in order to hear the fainting chirps and the wind bristling through the trees. It helped distract his thoughts, if only for a moment. Kind of like mock-meditation or something.

But then the moment would pass and his thoughts, like always, would spiral down to Yuu and one twisted realization.

He was attracted to Yuu.

He was _attracted_ to _Yuu_.

Holy fucking shit, he was attracted to Yuu.

Okay so Lavi had come to recognize two things while he avoided the temperamental boy for the past week.

One, this was complete torture on his mind, body, and soul because being away from Kanda was just something he never ever did before and that pretty much led up to realization number two.

Two, he really was a failure at controlling his feelings; at least when it came to the violent beauty known as Kanda Yuu. But if he could honestly say (without being whacked by an old panda) then he was actually okay with being attracted to the potential-homicidal Exorcist. It took a very strange process for him to wrap his head around the idea but he eventually came to terms with it.

Maybe the main problem was that he didn't really know what he should be doing with this new revelation. Seriously, how does one man court another man anyways? He was sure that Yuu wouldn't fall for the conventional flowers and chocolate nor did he seem like the type to fall for sweet talking.

This was ridiculous, he shouldn't be thinking about making moves on Kanda.

But what if he slipped up again? What if he came onto Kanda like he did in the shower?

Because it was obvious he was attracted to the Yuu and it was now much more obvious that he actually didn't have that much of self-control as he originally thought he did.

And for the ink of Bookman why did he NOT care? Just the thought of it possibly happening again was sending pleasurable waves throughout his body and no, he did not mind. Not one bit.

Ugh, he wished he could just cut away these feelings just like the way Yuu does with his swor-

DAMMIT. He was daydreaming about Yuu again.

_Oh well_, Lavi gave up. Since he was officially a failure at self-control he decided that he might as well enjoy it. With that decision he happily went back to his daydreaming of Yuu with a perverted goofy smile on his face.

Lavi began to imagine the beautiful brunette during one of his training sessions, the kind where he went outside to train on fairly sunny days. Performing the perfect combination of graceful and deadly.

And the sun's rays that practically glistened off the light sheen of sweat of Yuu's shirtless chest…

Shivers went down Lavi's spine. _Strike~_

Yes, with his perfect memory it was almost as if he were watching Yuu in real life.

"Hah!"

"Gh!"

"Tch!"

Lavi's brows scrunched together in confusion at the somewhat faraway sounds. It almost sounded like as if he was hearing Yuu in real life too.

_Weird_, he thought.

The Kanda-like grunts only became more persistent as seconds ticked by and sounded like they were coming from somewhere else in the forest and not from his own head. It was too real to be a part of his imagination and Lavi realized it could mean one thing.

Kanda must've been out there somewhere, probably training...

The smart thing to do, Lavi first reasoned with himself, was to leave Kanda alone to his training and make his way back to the Order.

But then his naughty and practically useless conscience convinced him that it would be okay if he took a quick peep at the pseudo-samurai as long as he remained unseen.

It was a solid plan, one that shouldn't fail.

Who was he kidding? It was pathetically obvious that he would be setting himself up for failure. Especially with how wayward his feelings have been lately whenever he was around Kanda.

The logic from his bookman junior brain told him that he needed to ignore his feelings and walk away. But then his perverted stupid rabbit brain kicked junior in the nads and suggested that he needed to take more risks in life.

_And to take that hot body of the gorgeous Yuu._

Plus, with all the stupid shit that he had pulled on Kanda over the years and on a regular basis he was honestly surprised that Kanda's hands and sword haven't been stained with his blood yet. Lavi could almost imagine Kanda painting crimson canvases on the walls of the Order.

Kanda was the embodiment of risk with his fuck-you-no-nonsense aura that he possessed. He practically released pheromones that alerted small helpless creatures like finders to stay out of his way.

Therefore Lavi truly must be a stupid rabbit since he obviously didn't have that sort of reaction built in him. Just talking to the guy was already hazardous and a potential threat to your life so trying to get close and personal with the dangerous raven beauty, both in the friendly and perverse sense was downright suicidal.

Except Lavi didn't care if he failed and got killed with his blood being used as medium for the new portrait to be placed in the grand hall for all to see.

He had no control of his feelings now. For there was only one thing he wanted at that moment and it was Yuu.

_Ah Lavi, what an idiot risk taker you are._

* * *

><p>I'm very sorry if I got your hopes up with an update. I was just looking at this story and decided to edit some things, then I consolidated the two chapters I just deleted into one.<p>

But fret not because I have not given up in this story and I do plan on seeing it to the end. I'm gonna try and work on some of it tonight and get it posted. If not, I'll try to get it done by the end of next week.

I don't expect anyone to review but if you do I greatly appreciate it :) its a great motivator.

Take care my lovelies~

_Nova_


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